Designing a Life You Love: How a Simple Reflection Exercise Became My Annual Reset as a BCBA Leader
There is something I have always loved about preparing for a new year. It feels like a clean slate, a fresh start, and a moment to get realigned. As a BCBA and long-time leader in ABA, I treat this time as an opportunity to pause, reflect, assess, and take inventory of how I am showing up. Am I living as the best version of myself? Am I aligned with the life I actually want to build?
For many of us in behavior analysis, we spend our days helping clients gain skills, increase independence, and create meaningful routines. Yet we rarely hit pause to design those same systems for our own lives. That disconnect is what first pushed me toward a practice that later became one of the most grounding traditions in my personal and professional life.
The Moment I Realized I Had Never Designed My Own Life
Years ago, I discovered Michael Hyatt’s books, especially Living Forward and Your Best Year Ever. I remember reading them and feeling something I had not felt in a long time: clarity. As a behavior analyst, I had spent so much of my life building structured pathways for other people. I helped children develop hobbies, strengthen friendships, and create routines that worked for them.
But I had never taken the time to apply that same intentionality to myself.
After years of school and a career defined by academic goals, I found myself a little unanchored. That realization was not unique to me. The more I mentored BCBAs and RBTs, the more I noticed the same pattern. We are incredible at guiding others toward progress, but we do not always make time to design systems for our own balance, fulfillment, and well-being.
And because I am naturally curious and a fixer, I wanted to understand how to bridge that gap.
Why Many BCBAs Feel Unanchored (Even When They Love Their Work)
The ABA field tends to attract high performers, helpers, and deeply values-driven people. But those strengths can sometimes work against us. Without intentional reflection, it is easy to drift into imbalance.
I heard the same themes repeatedly from the BCBAs and RBTs I supervised:
“I am so focused on work that everything else feels scattered.”
“I am exhausted but I still feel like I am not doing enough.”
“I do not know what balance looks like anymore.”
These were not problems of skill or dedication. They were problems of direction.
We did not need more productivity. We needed more clarity.
Bringing Intentional Living Into ABA Leadership
Self improvement has always been something I openly share with my teams. I never pretend to have all the answers, but I will always talk about what I am learning. If I figure something out the hard way, I share every part of it so someone else can have an easier path forward.
When I finished Hyatt’s books, I immediately wanted to bring the concepts to my team. Maybe someone else would feel less lost or more grounded by going through the same process.
So during the next review cycle at my company, I introduced something new:
The Life Domain Inventory.
I explained that I was working through it personally and invited the team to walk through the process with me.
How the Life Domain Inventory Works (and Why It Is Perfect for BCBAs)
Balance had always been one of our company’s core values. But like many organizations, it was more aspirational than operational. We encouraged things like turning off phones on the floor or not answering emails after 5pm, but boundaries alone are not balance. They only teach people what not to do.
The Life Domain Inventory changed that. It gave the team a way to reflect intentionally and honestly.
Each person reviewed domains like:
Work
Friends and family
Money
Health
Fun and recreation
Spiritual
Significant other
This framework is similar to the Wheel of Life exercise used widely in coaching and positive psychology.
Team members then scored each domain from 0 to 10:
0 = not thriving
10 = living their best life
From there, they considered:
What feels aligned?
What needs more attention?
Where do I want to grow in this season of life?
The conversations that followed were powerful. Interns gathering hours were all-in on work and low everywhere else. But many of them felt that was exactly right for their season. Others wanted to improve their finances, deepen relationships, or build healthier routines. A few wanted to explore graduate school or shift their career path entirely.
It became one of the most meaningful and humanizing tools I ever used as an ABA leader.
A Leadership Shift: Supporting the Whole Person, Not Just the Role
The Life Domain Inventory quickly became more than an exercise. It shaped how we supported our team.
Supervisors used it as a window into the whole human behind the RBT or BCBA title. It informed meaningful personal goals. It helped identify what someone needed to feel grounded. And it opened conversations that might never have happened otherwise.
Over the years, I watched incredible growth:
Team members saved for cars and homes
Others paid off long-standing loans
Some built healthier routines
Others rediscovered hobbies
A few started graduate programs and career shifts
These transformations were not about productivity. They were about alignment.
What This Practice Taught Me About Ethical and Sustainable Leadership
For me, the biggest lesson was simple:
Leaders do not have to be experts. They have to be honest.
You do not need to have life fully figured out to support others. You just need to be willing to share your journey, your learning, and the tools that keep you grounded. That transparency builds trust, connection, and a culture where people feel safe being human.
Why This Reflection Became My Annual Tradition
Every year, as the new year approaches, I sit down with my Life Domain Inventory. It has become a grounding ritual, a reset button, and a reminder of what matters. It is also the tool I return to any time life feels chaotic or out of whack.
And now, as I settle into this new chapter with an expanding community of BCBAs and ABA leaders, it feels right to pass it along.
If you want a deeper dive into intentional life design, Hyatt has an excellent summary on his site: Michael Hyatt on Life Planning.
If You Feel Unanchored, You Are Not Alone
If you are a BCBA, a supervisor, or someone who supports others for a living, you may know that unanchored feeling too. The pull between mission and burnout. The longing for balance but no framework for getting there.
Maybe this simple reflection is exactly the catalyst you need for a season of realignment.
If you want me to create a downloadable Life Domain Inventory you can use personally or with your team, I can create that next.
